Sex, Kama Sutra Style…
Yes, I am going there. After all, this is a blog about living better and what a way to do that than to talk about sex. Some of the pictures are graphic so if you’re at work or are extremely sensitive to certain depictions of art, I’d highly advise to read this at another time or close your eyes at the pictures. I could go on about statistics about what men like in bed and what women prefer, but I’ll save that for another blog. For now, I want to get it in, Kama Sutra Style.
So what exactly is Kama Sutra? It’s not something Trey Songz made up nor Steve Harvey. Many people know it as a certain style of lovemaking in which one would perform in different positions for the ultimate pleasure. Kama Sutra, Aphorisms on Love is an ancient Indian Hindi text originally written by Nanikishva in 1000 parts and reproduced in abbreviated form by Shvetaketu of Udalalaka. It was again reproduced in abridged form by Babhravya and finally,Vatsyayana. It is considered the basic standard of sexual behavior in Sanskrit literature. It gives advice on sexual intercourse, positions, and sexual etiquette. Kama means sensual or sexual pleasure and sutra literally means a line that hold things together. It is the oldest and most notable group of text aka Kama Shastra that was collected in 2nd century CE. It has over 1250 verses, 36 chapters and organized in 7 parts including:
1. Sadharana -These are general principles that lay the foundation of sexual intimacy
2. Samprayogika – This talks about love-play and the sexual union
3. Kanya Samprayuktaka – This section focuses on dating and marriage
4. Bharyadhikarika – This is the role and expectations of the wife
5. Paradarika – This is about seducing the wives of others
6. Vaishika – This talks about the prostitute or in other words, keeping an eye out for hoes, stunts, and skeezers
7. Aupanishadika – Your Sexual Power including practices of oral sex, sexual rituals, and other freeky shyt.
Each part of book was written by different authors and difficult to master because of the length. Therefore, each book was incomplete as a comprehensive work. To solve this Vatsyayana composed and updated the work in a small volume of an entire work of authors. In Hindu tradition, sexuality is elevated into a highly spiritual and sacred plane. It serves to deepen the bond between people of all ages and traditions. It was intended mostly for men and written from a male POV but women have studied it and applied it to their bedroom knowledge. For women, part of it is learned from other women such as a nurse, a close married friend or a servant who can always be trusted, also known as the 64 arts. I guess they too didn’t want to be labeled a freek back then. But in addition to Kama Shastra, the arts also included many female bonding sessions through singing, writing, adorning the forehead, and fashion.
In Book 1 of the Kama Sutra, it details how a mans’ crib should be kept, his cleanliness, and his social activities. His spot should be fragrant with sweet-smelling flowers about and pictures of his family in his bedroom. His teeth should be clean, he should bathe daily and wear some fresh smelling cologne everyday especially when he goes out. His clothes should always be clean and he should always be presentable to his female cohorts. Hmmm, maybe this Vats guy and the others were way ahead of their time. His social activities should include chillin’ with his friends, engage in drinking parties, or just chatting it up with some female friends. Kama practiced by men of the caste(or class) system, especially with virgins of their own castes was considered lawful. Even dealing with women of a lower caste was cool, but the Kama Shastra makes it a point for men not to deal with prostitutes and the unchaste, better known as sluts. They even advise against crazy chicks, chicks with an attitude problem, blabbermouths, d%@k teasers, old ladies and those who are dirty.
In Book 2, it says that men with intense passion are full of desire and this will reflect in the sex. A woman’s satisfaction is based on the amount of passion that a man is willing to give, level of compatibility, and how long he takes to fulfill the deed. The latter is debatable because some say that the act itself gives a women enough pleasure to be satisfied or if it takes a long time to reach the height of pleasure, then she is dissatisfied either way. Therefore, women can’t explain what kind of pleasure they feel. I say they were right the first time. Vatsyayana believed that men and women have different reactions when it come to sex since they are engaged in the same activity. He believed that men are actors and are playing a role and that the women are the acted upon, or the mans’ audience. Men want women to reach orgasm first or at the same time as women. He must first arouse a woman during foreplay and during intimacy so that she can finally reach her climax-resulting in satisfaction.
This is where it gets a little kinky. Digging your nails in someones’ back can either be a turn-on or a turn-off. Yet in the Kama Sutra, digging your nails in someone is a sign of intense lovemaking. So is biting. And ass smacking and punching. Hitting gives rise to moaning sounds during sex. The excitement and passion of sex can cause a person to act contrary to their nature. Like turning out a wholesome church girl. The section on oral sex is a little too graphic to discuss here so I won’t go into too much detail. Back then, men had other men perform oral sex on them with their consent. Women, with the exception of hoes, skeezers and stunts and servants, were permitted from performing this act and married women were banned from it. Vatsyayana recognized that and said that anything connected with love the person should act upon it. Women practiced on each other such as on servants and close friends. They also took in their, ahem..juices. Positions included the splitting of the bamboo where the woman places one of her legs on her lovers’ shoulder and stretches the other out. Or when a man enjoys many women together including himself, it is called the congress of a herd of cows….or an orgy.
In book 3, marriages were arranged with the permission of the parents. Those who were unworthy were those who were already engaged to someone else, had physical disabilities, a weird sounding name, slutty, or airheads. A few days after marriage, the male begins to win her over and inspire confidence in their marriage by taking things slow with her and on her terms. Married couples should show affection to each other and give her other the attention they deserve. If a husband has fallen from his social position and has resorted to gambling, not coming home all the time, hanging out with his boys, or hanging out at a bar or club, then he does not deserve to be married. Ok in the kama sutra it says parties and drinks with his male friends, but hey, it’s the same thing right?
In book 4, the role of the wife , the wife should treat her husband like the top dawg, big daddy, king of the castle that he is. She is to care for the family and keep a clean household. The wife should avoid the company of bitter women, mendicants or broke ass chicks, sluts, and fortune tellers. The wife is to be supportive of her man and to be by his side. In the book, it makes it seem like the wife is to be subservient which I have a problem with that, but nonetheless, she is to stand by her man. She therefore acquires a higher position and keeps the husbands devoted to them. She is to welcome her husbands friends in their house with flowers and snacks and treat her in-laws with the utmost respect they deserve. It then goes on about the role of the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th wife, but..really?
“A husband who is obedient but master of himself, even though poor and not good-looking, is better than one who is common to many women, even though his is handsome”.
Book 5 gets into how the game is played. Scribes say that men can tell when a woman has fallen for them just by her intensity of her passions, her body, and her purity. But Vatsyayana’s take is that women should be judged by their conduct, their expression of their thoughts, and by body language. They say that women reject men because of their affection for their husbands, lack of opportunity, different social status, not trustworthy, and lack of compassion among others. Any of these obstacles perceived by men should be removed immediately. He should become successful and more loving, and make himself available for his woman. He should present gifts and should only seduce one woman at a time. If he is trying to win her over, then he should examine where he head is at and pay attention to her behavior. Sometimes, help from a 3rd party helps. A woman who approaches a man with an attitude, or if he feels like he needs to check her, then it’s on to the next one. All one needs is an opportunity.
Books 6 and 7 go into living as a wife and sexual lore. For sexual lore, they just talk about different rituals such as bathing in milk and massaging yourself in essential oils and herbs for aphrodisiacs and to set the mood. Some of that stuf is for another topic.
Whew, that was long, but I just gave my shortened, abridged version of the Kama Sutra. I feel like I’ve learned a lot from researching some of this material, but I hope you all have learned a lot too. I am not afraid to tackle issues dealing with sexuality and intimacy, but I will not let these topics travel to raunchy territory.
UPDATE: I just want to give my personal thoughts on this ancient tradtion. It seems to me that Kama Sutra is to be equated with love and that the two are interchangeable. Maybe that would be another topic of discussion about why I think sex does not equal love. People have been practicing and performing Kama Sutra for ages and may not even realize it. It is the original Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and provides a insight on dating, marriage, sex, and overall satisfaction.
From The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra edited by Lance Dane