Hair Snobbery #3: The Men All Pause
Quick note: The SAD Life is up and running.
I make it no secret that I wear wigs and weaves these days. Sure, I still rock my TWA out every now and then, but it’s getting cold and my head gets cold easily. My only saving grace is that during the warmer months and when I am out full fro. Weaves itch in the summertime, at least on me and who wants to sweat under a wig. So with that being said, I love to see the reaction on people’s face while wearing my long and silky remi hair. I do look like a completely different person. Now with men, being the physical beings that they are, I love watching their reaction the most. This is what I usually get (with my short hair):
ME: “Hi! So glad we can meet up finally! How have you been?”
HIM: ” huh?(who the hell is this?)”
ME: “It’s me, Christine? I recently cut my hair”
*Evening then turns very awkward*
In one of my other posts on Hair Snobbery, I noted that it didn’t matter the way one would wear their hair if you had other issues going on with you. Maybe I might need to back track on that. While that is still true, maybe I just need to admit to myself that I look better with longer, straight hair, as evidenced by these responses:
HIM1: “You look MUCH better with straight hair”
HIM2: “Damn, that’s you?(contemplates whether he’d still hit)”
HIM3: “Damn baby, you look real good like that”
HER1: “You should wear you hair like this more often”
For the record, I still think that I am pretty darn cute with my TWA. In fact, when guys request pics of me, I always tell them that my hair is really short, just so that there is no confusion. And I have never been the one to give a crap what someone else thought of how I wore my do, as evidenced by the number of wigs I wear. But while I enjoy the aspect of embracing natural hair and beauty, I have to wonder what men really do think of sistas going natural and how far along are they on the Scale of Attractiveness. I believe that one has to have an appreciation for it as well as other physical attributes. But coming from my experiences, the reactions I get are completely different with my long silky, remi hair versus my short and nappy hair. It seems like my options are broader with the former than the latter, not that I don’t get any play from the latter, but my range of options are slim to nil with my short hair. Can I blame them for their preferences? I mean, after all, men usually see physical first before everything else is considered. But is embracing natural hair more of a thing for black women than men? Keeping it %100, yes it is. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Yet, I have yet to see a woman with a full fro or locs on the cover of SMOOTH or KING magazine. I could be wrong here, but I haven’t seen it yet. It’s more of a thing for women to embrace than men. Ahh, the joys of sistahood! If we were to wear our hair in the way men perceive us, this could be seen as a sign of low self esteem(because who cares at all what men think anyway???), or just playing your position and upping your chances of attraction. I’ve also found that men on the other hand don’t tend to care about how other men see them as far as appearance. I have yet to see guys buying a certain cologne, wear a frohawk, get it in at the gym, or wear tight jeans because they want to embrace the brotherhood of other men. They do all that to get girls to sleep with them.
Bottom line, it shouldn’t matter how you wear your hair. Hopefully there will come a time when women with locs, a twist out, or a twa can be seen as beautiful as one with Spanish Wavy down her back. But if we were to be honest with ourselves, you can’t get mad at the brotha who won’t give you the time of day sporting your full fro as he checks for what’s most attractive to him. Just check for the brotha who appreciates natural beauty. Hopefully, those are a growing number….