Hair Snobbery 4: The Children
I am a hard working single mother raising my daughter. I always make sure that she is presentable leaving the house which includes making sure that her hair is well kept. I like to style her hair in afro puffs, a poofy pony tail, cornrows, braids, pretty much any style where I think she will look the cutest. I love showing off her texture because she has thick curly hair and her ponytails are never in “struggle” mode. Cori does not like getting her hair done, unless I cornrow it and put it in beads. She likes shaking her hair around like a white girl I guess. As far as products that I use, I use my own such as Green Afro Diva Hair Butta for braiding, Garnier Fructis for moisture after I wash it with Garnier Fructis shampoo, and Jane Carter Solutions Leave in Conditioner. Sometimes, I’ll even use Kinky Curly Detangler because her hair is so thick and I need to soften it. Maybe I’ll straighten her hair at some point, but I’d rather wait until she is ready for that. When I was her age, I remember hating having my hair washed because my hair was so nappy and I was so tenderheaded. Lucky for me, my mom didn’t know how to cornrow, but I was still a victim of the hot comb. My earliest memory was sitting in my mother’s kitchen with the stove on and the watching the hot comb heat up. I HATED having my hair pressed! It was almost like a death sentence for there were knots in my stomach the whole time as I hoped that the comb won’t kiss my ear or my forehead. The smell of grease and burnt hair was just as horrible,…but the end result? Luxuriously soft, manageable hair that blew in the wind. No, I won’t put my daughter through that kind of torture. Instead, I’ll just flat iron it.
So I picked Cori up from her father’s house about a week ago. Now lately he’s been getting on me about fixing her hair because they tend to go out often. Never was a problem before as I make sure that she is always presentable. But he’s funny like that. Anyway, I pick her up, and notice that her hair is done. I asked who did that and he said that his girlfriend did it. One, that did not sit too well with me at all. I don’t know her like that for her to be touching all in my child’s hair. So he said that her hair needs to be done whenever she comes over. So I have a big issue with that. As her mother and the person that she is living with, I do have a say as in who is allowed to play in my child’s hair and who doesn’t. Can you imagine if you had a son the kind of hell you would catch if you let someone else cut your son hair if his father has been doing it this whole time and find out he put a frohawk in it and didn’t line it up like his dad did? And what about that bonding period? That should be the time where you bond with your kids. My mother did it with me, her mother did it with her, and my dad did that with my brother taking him to the barbershop and so on. What happened last week was an unspoken violation of the mom code. Of course, there are times where I can only put it in a ponytail because I don’t have time to do it. Or if I just unbraided and washed her hair, I may leave it out to breathe a bit. Maybe I’m being selfish and the ultimate hair snob. I mean, what if the girlfriend was just trying to help a sista out and take the work off my hands? After all, she’s a mother too and must know how hard it is to raise kids and make sure that they look……Nope, stay outta my child’s hair please….
I love seeing kids with their hair done up, but sometimes, we can overdo it. I got my first weave when I was about 8 years old. My aunt did it and I had a short and cute bob style that barely touched my shoulders. From then on, I worn cornrows, dookie braids(like the ones Janet Jackson wore on Poetic Justice) box braids, and got my first relaxer at age 11. I was a late bloomer then, for there are kids with relaxers as young as age 3. Where they do that at???? Recently I seen a little girl, had to be about 10 years old, with glued in tracks. And it didn’t even look right. I don’t know who I felt bad for more, the person paid to actually put that mess in that child’s hair or the child who thought she looked the most when she was working with the least. When Cori gets older, if she wants to put that in her hair, weaves, relaxers and all, sure I’d pretend to support it. After all, it’s her body and she will be growing into her own woman. If she wants to cite Willow Smith as inspiration for being who she is and looking like a
confused boy short haired little girl, sure! Just not in my house and on her own time.